Dead Strange, Twisted and Deranged
by Affynity
Summary: My SVMFan1 dedication for 100 reviews. She chose the topic I just put the Affynity spin on it! Enjoy. Maenad Attack with a Spin...


A/N: Congratulations SVMFan1 in honor of my 100th review courtesy of you, and the impending True Blood premier you have won a personal 1-shot. She wanted a revamp (haha) of the maenad attack – My inspiration for this is Arctic Monkey's – Crying Lightning. Without further adieu..Take it away Maryann! =)

~SVM~

-Sookie POV-

I can't resist a person in need. My Gran raised me in true Southern fashion. A neighbor in need is a friend indeed. Bill Compton, my vampire boyfriend, has a 17 year old newborn vampire child, poor Jessica. She was kidnapped and locked into a trunk until Bill became an unwilling maker to an unwilling victim as punishment.

She played on my sympathy, begging and pleading to be taken to her family one last time. I wanted to say no desperately, but several weeks ago my Gran was murdered by a serial killer. I would give ANYTHING to see her again. Anyway the little devious bitch lied. She sat there crying her eyes out looking into mine and swore to only look while planning to kill them. Thinking back on it I am so mad I could spit. I am not sure who I am more pissed at myself or her.

Bill showed up in the nick of time and saved them. He is furious at bot of us. That pretty much catches us up to the present. Bill claims that he wants to mainstream, I fail to see the reason her family is off limits. As her maker her should take her once and keep her under control, but he finds this a blundering pursuit. I believe he he is being a cruel bastard.

The moment he returned to the car he began an endless tirade, making me feel worse, and just a little bit more pissed off every time he opened his mouth. The only words I knew to relay my feelings that were welling up inside of me were, "I'm Sorry."

"Are you really? You seem to be saying that more and more often as an excuse for your childish actions!"

"REALLY I AM SORRY", I screamed out!

He pulled the car over after terrifying the shit out of me with his erratic driving. I was thankful until he opened his fucking mouth.

"Sookie she is not a toy! She is dangerous, a loaded gun, I glamored them within an inch of their sanity for all the help you were offering!"

I wasn't taking anymore of his fucking berating attitude. I flung the door open and stormed from my seat. I marched myself down the road towards Bon Temps.

"Sookie get back in the car! It is more than 20 miles back to Bon Temps!"

"I don't care I would rather walk than spend one more minute in that car with you William Compton."

I was pounding the pavement thinking about how damn hard headed and posturing he was being. The more I thought the more my head spun with the things he had done to me since we started seeing each other. I heard the critters in the woods on the shoulder of the road rustling in the trees.

"Bill", I asked my voice shaking with fear. "If you think you can scare me into getting back in that car you are out of your fucking _**deranged**_ vampire mind!"

Suddenly the movement in the trees was much closer than before. I began to feel enough fear to make me shake uncontrollably. I looked behind me and realized it was probably the biggest mistake of my young life. There behind me was a _**strange**_ six foot minotaur with huge claws for fingers and a rack of horns as far apart as I was tall. I panicked and ran in terror wasting my precious oxygen screaming out into the night. The minotaur ran with vampire speed. My escape attempt was futile. It struck me in the back the agony was automatic. My breath became labored as my lungs seized more and more with every attempt to fill them with air. I lay with my stomach pressed into the gravely road wide eyed as my life flashed before my eyes. My Father, Mother, Gran, Jason, and Tina. Everyone I knew who I missed or would miss me.

Suddenly the creature bolted into the cover of the trees. Bill was standing over me talking. My brain couldn't process his speech but I couldn't move. A new bout of fear gripped me as I grasped I was paralyzed.

"I can't move!"

Useless, pitiful, pathetic Bill stood there asking retarded questions instead of being of use. Finally it hit him that this wasn't a _**twisted**_ joke. He scooped me up in his arms and bit his wrist and fed me his blood. As soon as it hit the back of my throat I convulsed in his arms and blacked out as I hit my head on the pavement below me.

I woke up in Eric's office in Fangtasia. I was in immense pain. There was a hobbit standing over me examining the deep scratches/gouges in my back.

"What kind of Doctor are you?"

"The healing kind."

She dug into my back and pulled out a shard of something. It felt like she ripped my spine from my body and stomped on it.

"Am I dieing?"

"Yes."

"Are you familiar with the Komodo Dragon?"

"A dragon scratched me?"

"No, but the poison is very similar. Their saliva contains a deadly Neurotoxin. It shuts down the bodies nervous system. It will track you for days just waiting for the toxin to render your body useless. Whatever attacked you is very lethal."

"You must save her!"

"Back Off Vampire, Let me do my job!"

"Forgive him he is quite attached to this human."

"If we can't stop this she will die. She is running out of time Mr. Compton. Leave us I must undress her."

I felt like someone had put an Alka-Seltzer into my mouth and poured water on top of it as a cruel joke. I couldn't talk or move my tongue. I heard a strange gurgling in my throat. The doctor talked matter of factly.

I felt her gloved hand run over a gouge in my back and dig into the torn flesh. I felt as if someone had poured molten metal under my skin. It was torture. I screamed at the top of my lungs hoping for relief. It was a vain attempt. She poured a liquid over my wounds that smelt like sewage and burnt rubber and it burned. The molten metal had returned 10 fold. Eric and bill ran into the room and held me down on the table as ordered. As soon as the pain had begun earlier tonight it dissipated. She was swabbing the area dry and I felt relief.

"You can give her blood now."

Eric spoke up first, "I will do it."

"No, Never."

"Compton I believe that I am much older than you and your superior. You will remember that in the future. Sookie needs stronger blood if she is to survive this. I am the only logical solution to this dilemma."

"Yes, Sheriff", Bill ground out.

"Bill?", I whispered.

"Yes darling?"

"Drop the act I wouldn't take your blood now if you forced it upon me. You are worthless. Pathetic. Pitiful."

"It seems that Miss Stackhouse has spoken you are dismissed."

Eric sat in a chair by my head and stroked my hair as he spoke soothing words into my ear. It was calming the night had been more than traumatic. I had seen a newborn almost kill her family, I was reprimanded by my Ex-boyfriend, and viciously attacked by a venomous minotaur. I would say that times like these called for a Valium vacation.

Eric bit his wrist and held it to my mouth. My fingers reflexively wrapped around his wrist and I drank greedily. As soon as the first drop hit my tongue I felt the power of his blood course through me. My skin was tingly and itching as it knitted back together. His fangs ran out as I sucked mouthful after mouthful and swallowed it down thankfully.

Soothingly Eric spoke,"That is enough little one."

He pulled his wrist away from my mouth and the wound sealed moments later.

"Thank you", I said as I slipped into unconsciousness.

~SVM~

-Eric POV-

Monday nights are always cause for my cantankerous mood. I detest paperwork. The bar is closed and I would much rather be encased in silver chains than be sitting at the desk trying to balance the books. My thoughts are erratic. They have been centered on Sookie Stackhouse more often than I would like to admit. My thoughts are like a _**twisted magic trick**_. No matter how hard I concentrate on other things she appears like a repetitive disappearing act.

I hear the squealing of tires and pounding on the entrance of the club. Fucking fangbangers. Desperate cattle. The sign clearly says CLOSED. With vampire speed I make it through the club intent on scaring the shit out of who ever is there uninvited. I kick the door open with my toe and find a _**strange**_ sight. Compton is at my door holding a bleeding Sookie and playing the devoted _**deranged**_ Emo cutter. It takes all of my willpower to keep from ripping her from his arms leaving him standing there. What in the fuck did the incompetent Compton manage to get her into. He isn't capable of protecting her as she should be. What she sees in him I will never know. I pulled out my phone and dialed Dr. Ludwig. I spoke in rapid hushed tones and hung up.

I led him to my office and had him place her on the couch. The little 3'11'' doctor appeared in the office doorway moments later. It was very clear from the stench of death that was permeating my office that she was on the brink of the light leaving her eyes. She regained consciousness as soon as Ludwig touched the deep hideous gouges on her back.

"What kind of Doctor are you?"

She was clearly delirious from the pain. I could have tortured Compton for months for every whimper that left her soft pouty lips.

"The healing kind."

Ludwig dug into the concave gash and excavated a remnant of whatever had harmed her. It left a piece of itself behind. She let loose a gut wrenching wail and I wanted to exact revenge on the troglodyte.

"Am I dieing?"

Clearly. Fucking imbecile. How could he have left her unprotected. If this is a testament of his abilities. He will never accompany her solo anywhere. I will be there even if I am stalking in the shadows this is unacceptable.

"Yes."

"Are you familiar with the Komodo Dragon?"

"A dragon scratched me?"

What in the fuck is in the woods. I will have to have the area swept. Pamela is going to be very unhinged.

"No, but the poison is very similar. Their saliva contains a deadly Neurotoxin. It shuts down the bodies nervous system. It will track you for days just waiting for the toxin to render your body useless. Whatever attacked you is very lethal."

"You must save her!"

Captain Obvious. He could clearly pass for Sherlock Holmes.

"Back Off Vampire, Let me do my job!"

"Forgive him he is quite attached to this human."

I don't know why I am defending his worthless hide to the doctor. She is just as insufferable as he is.

"If we can't stop this she will die. She is running out of time Mr. Compton. Leave us I must undress her."

I got up from my seat in swept swiftly from the room. The faster she got this over with the faster that she would be better. I sat at the bar just outside of the door. When he joined me I wondered if he had given her blood.

"Yes, it didn't work. Have you ever heard of anything like that?"

"Never."

"Pam, Chow. Sweep the area around highway 71. we need to know what has attacked Miss Stackhouse."

I am at a loss it is rare but it does happen. I will get to the bottom of this and we will handle the problem.

Sookie let out another wail of horrendous pain. It was so loud I could almost feel her pain in my chest. It was knee buckling. How is she still conscious? We ran into the room at vampiric speed to see Sookie writhing in pain on the couch.

"Hold her down!"

I grabbed her ankles and bill grabbed her arms it was nothing to hold her to the couch. The hard part was the smell wafting in the air. It was like burned vampire and rotten food. Very unpleasant. I could distinguish the moment the pain ebbed. She went slack on the couch her muscles all relaxed at the same time. It was something to see.

"You can give her blood now."

Damn straight. I will not leave her in this state. Scared from this ordeal. God damned moron.

Eric spoke up first, "I will do it."

"No, Never."

Like hell, you have lost your privileges. I will put my boot in your ass if you are indignant.

"Compton I believe that I am much older than you and your superior. You will remember that in the future. Sookie needs stronger blood if she is to survive this. I am the only logical solution to this dilemma."

"Yes, Sheriff", Bill ground out.

That's right motherfucker I am large and in charge!

"Bill?", she croaked.

I internally flinched at her voice. It was like nails on a chalk board.

"Yes darling?"

I rolled my eyes at this. A bad habit that I had picked up from Pam. He is dense.

"Drop the act I wouldn't take your blood now if you forced it upon me. You are worthless. Pathetic. Pitiful."

I was fighting the urge to laugh out loud and gloat in his face. I suppose he should have tried harder to act a bit more human. Fuck me!

"It seems that Miss Stackhouse has spoken you are dismissed."

I sat in his vacated chair and soothed her the best I could. She looked like hell warmed over. I knew she was still suffering discomfort. It was unsettling. I am not sure if I thought that because it seemed she was or it was me that was more affected by the ordeal. My anger had spiked several times tonight. I am going to have to pay a visit to Bill when he least expects it. I have some anger management issues to render on his pathetic hide.

I bit my wrist and held it to her mouth. When her warm fingers wrapped around my wrist I sighed. At the first pull my cock twitched in my pants. With every mouthful she drew it grew more painfully obvious. My fangs ran out as she drank from me greedily. I wanted to slam into her and ravage her body the moans that were vibrating against my skin were fueling my lust. After four mouthfuls I regretfully pulled away from her.

With all the strength I could muster and in the most normal tone I could manage,"That is enough little one." , it came out as barely above a whisper.

"Thank you", she said as my blood whisked her into nothingness.

~SVM~

I swept her up into my arms and held her against my body. The heat radiating off of her warmed me. I was awash in bliss. I ran my fingers through her hair and hummed softly. I kissed her temple and longed to touch her. To please her. Earlier in the evening I was sure if I fucked her I would have her out of my system. I know now that it is useless. I want her so reverently that I will never have enough. She shifted in my lap and snuggled her face into my neck. Her breath was fluttering in the crease of my neck. It was hard to maintain my composure.

She brought her hand to my shoulder and twirled her fingers around a lock of my hair that had escaped my ponytail. It was hypnotic. She moaned against my neck and whispered, "Eric". I stiffened. It was too much. Much too much.

"Sookie, dear one. Wake up."

"Eric?"

"Yes little one?"

"Kiss me. Please."

I ran my hand from her hair down her chin and tilted it up to my face. Before I captured her lips I looked into her eyes. The deep pools were pleading. On the verge of begging. I slanted my lips over hers and felt a jolt as my cool lips touched her warm ones. She moaned against my lips. I darted my tongue from between my lips and traced her bottom lip. She eagerly let my tongue into her mouth and wrapped it around my descended fangs. I growled into her mouth. She broke the kiss and smirked at me in a signature Eric Northman smirk.

"Like that do you?"

"Do not tease me minx."

"This is being a tease", she said as she ran her hand across my chest and tweaked my nipple hard.

"Sookie Fuck me!"

"I fully intend to Mr. Northman."

She captured my lips in a searing kiss. When my tongue passed her teeth she latched on and bit it gently. Sucking and teasing my tongue.

I ran my hand up the Fangtasia t-shirt that I had placed on her body when Ludwig left. I captured her nipple in between my thumb and finger and pinched it fiercely. She cried out. I laid her out on the couch and ran my other hand up her shirt. With both palms full I pressed her cleavage together and growled at the cock swelling sight before me. My shirt was so big that her nipples were peaking out of the collar of the shirt. I leaned my face into her and licked the peeking peaks. She squirmed beneath me mewing in pleasure. I shifted my weight slightly and she wrapped her legs around my waist locking her ankles at the small of my back. My cock was screaming to be let out of his fabric prison. If I didn't know better she read my mind. She seductively slid her hands down my chest and unbuttoned my pants. My cock sprang free and she grabbed it in her tiny hand pumping it a few times. She swiped her thumb across the swollen tip collecting the precome that had collected. She brought her fingers to her mouth and sucked them in between her lips. She moaned in delight at my taste.

I had, had enough of the game we were playing. I ripped the shirt from her body. She gasped as the air hit her skin, but then she admonished, "Hey that was my souvenir."

"Lover I will give you every shirt off my back just to get you to scream my name."

"You have to wear it first."

"Deal."

I dipped my head into her cleavage again and sucked a nipple into my mouth. She arched her back and shoved her breasts further into my face as if I was going to pull away now (not a snowballs chance in hell). I snaked my other hand down her body in between her thighs. I ran my index finger from her clit to her slit. She squealed. It was a heavenly noise that I had been praying to Odin to hear.

"Sookie you are so wet for me lover."

"Tell me what you want. I want to pleasure you into oblivion."

"Eric please. Please I want to feel your hard length thrusting within me."

I was teasing her folds with my fingers. I slipped one into her cupping her mound. She was tight so tight.

"Lover before I can do that I must prepare you to take all of me."

I thrust my finger into her massaging her walls opening her up to me further. She was becoming wild under me. She found my cock again pumping it in time with my thrusts. I sipped another finger inside her and curled them to locate her g-spot. She shuddered when I fluttered across it. Looking into her eyes I wanted to claim her.

I kissed her with all the lust and passion that I was feeling exploring her mouth with my tongue. Her moans spurred me on and I felt her clenching my fingers. I knew that she was close to coming on them. I flicked my thumb across her clit rubbing it in slow methodical circles in counter sync with our thrusts. Another two thrusts of my fingers and she came all around me the pressure was exquisite. I withdrew my fingers broke our kiss and replaced her tongue with my fingers.

"Lover you are like honey mead after a long voyage. Your taste is unforgettable. I will remember it for all of my existence."

I entered her then in a swift stroke and she screamed in pleasure. She squeezed my biceps tightly. When she had adjusted around me her fingers relaxed and I knew she wanted me to move. I thrust and withdrew fully each time. In to the hilt and completely out until my tip was resting at her entrance. Every time I would withdraw she would whimper. It was music to my ears. I could listen to that every night and never tire of it. She was getting close to organismic highs again. I thrust into the hilt and took shorter faster stokes stoking the fire that was building within her. Her muscles were fluttering around my cock. I was having a hard time holding back. I looked her in the eyes and smile a wicked smile and she bared her neck to me. Instead of biting her neck I leaned down and took her pebbled nipple into my mouth sucking hard as I bit down. As I drew the first mouthful of her fragrant blood she spasmed, shuddered, and jerked under me causing my cock to swell inside her. My cool seed spilled out of me in long streams coating her walls. The look on her face when she came was like Valhalla. She was beyond the stars in the heavens riding on a cloud of bliss. That is the orgasm that I would never forget.

We were laying in post-orgasmic contentedness holding each other in silence. I made a vow to myself right then that I would do whatever it took to keep her. I wanted her forever. Now to convince her. I have to say that she is a better snuggle partner than my body pillow. I smirked to myself. And held her tighter.

~SVM~


End file.
